We are all hypocrites, and it is not a bad thing. Let me explain.
We have this idea of who we are, i.e. who we tell people we are and who we believe people think we are. And in most cases, this image is fuelled by our desires to be perfect humans.
Then there is who we really are.
If you are being honest, you know there is a distance between these two personalities.
But the problem is that most people are not honest. They either underestimate the distance or, even worse, deny the distance between who they are and who they think they are.
One of your goals in life is to shorten the distance between these two personalities. But you can’t do that if you underestimate or deny the distance.
The first part of solving a complex problem like this is to agree there is a problem in the first place. So how do you find this disparity?
By watching yourself. If you are self-aware a bit, this hypocrisy should be clear to you.
But if not, you need to ask the people you interact with. Ask 5 or 10, or 20 people closest to you about some of the ideas you have about yourself.
This process is not foolproof. Some people’s ideas of who you are will be really off, and some of your friends will try to be nice and say things to soothe your ego. But it’s better than nothing.
If it helps, you can take an average of all the opinions you receive. This process removes any serious bias.
When you are done with the process, you should have an idea of who you are.
At this stage, what do you do?
The way I see it, you have two options.
First is the personal development path, where you start working towards shortening the distance using every resource within your means.
I have to warn you as a friend. This path is hard, but even worse, there is no end in sight to this exercise. Because the more you try to align with the image you have in your head, the more you think up better things. So there is this continuous striving to be a better person like the image you have in your head.
Then there is the second option. The semi-detached status quo. Here, you acknowledge the distance, but the sacrifice to cover it is too high, and you accept your hypocrisy that way. This position is noble in and of itself. You will not change, but it is a conscious choice.
I think I am a good person, but true true, deep down, I no be good person like that.
There is still a third option. The status quo. Keep being a hypocrite but deny the hypocrisy.
We are all hypocrites, it is not a good thing, but it is what makes life interesting.
